If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
