My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
