also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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