He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
