i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize