I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
