We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
