Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
