Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
