yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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