You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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