the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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