Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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