Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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