she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
