From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize