i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
last night I used snow as a chaser
I enjoy the company of your penis
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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