i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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