You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Ketchup is God's man juice
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
