Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
