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I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
