Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize