He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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