Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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