i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
