just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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