i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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