I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
