you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
