her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
