Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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