Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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