Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
