i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
