Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize