Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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