Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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