just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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