He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I will die if light touches me.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
