You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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