HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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