Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize