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we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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