I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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