i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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