do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
