I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
