i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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