Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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