Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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