sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
