dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Randomize
