The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
