He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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