I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
don't judge my taste in strippers
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
