Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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