Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
