So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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