I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
