just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
