Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize