ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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