The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
