My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I party with great urgency now.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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